I was sorta, half-way, mostly in my head, working on an end-of-the-year review but the insanity of the last couple of weeks (both in the world and just in my little corner of it) has pushed me into my stoic, quiet, updateless place.
2018 was the first year since I have been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor that I was stable enough that I actually did not spend any time in giant, noisy medical machines. No MRSA, no trips down the stairs, no major choking incidents. I’m not convinced I’m seizure free, and I forget things like it’s my job, but I am stable enough that I was able to convince my neuro to let me ask pain management about shots in my neck again.
2019 starts with me mostly stable brain-wise, in the middle of a couple of trips to the dentist, somewhat overwhelmed by life right now, and contemplating going to the Women’s March in DC on the 19th. So I am doing what I do and retreating into my head and my writing. I present my latest efforts from my journals…
The Night After Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas
and all through the house
not a critter was stirring
Not even Daisy with a new mouse.
The stockings were rehung
by the fireplace with care
Empty now of the treats and goodies
St Nick had shared.
The kids were all snuggled in
tight in their beds
with visions of such a wonderful day
bouncing through their heads.
And Dad in his pajama pants
and I wearing a messing bun like a cap
were heading upstairs
dreaming of a nice, long Winter’s nap.
When all of a sudden I heard
a bang! and such clatter
I tumbled out of bed
to go see what was the matter.
I hurried down the stairs
as I followed the noise
When what to my surprised eyes did I find
but a battle of toys!
Wow Daisy! Oh Phoebe!
And Honey-Girl too?!
There’s boxes and bows everywhere.
What did you do?!
As I stood and surveyed
the mess in my living room
I took a deep breath and wondered
“should I go get the broom?”
Just then a wondrous sight
caught the corner of my eye
I looked across the room, through the back window
and gazed at the Northeast night sky.
The snow had just started
to float down from the clouds
Clean, fresh, white sparkling snowflakes were floating down
coating our little town without a sound.
Soundlessly I turned
and gazed upon the messy room
Among those boxes and bows
I saw the joy that disappears all too soon.
Our family had been gifted
with such a wonderful day
and so our kitties had taken
their chance to play!
All those boxes and bows
and scattered tissue paper
would be remnants of cherished memories
to call upon later.
Seeing my furry little predators
attack all the boxes and bows
just added to my joyous memories
as they peeked out from the piles
with their tiny nose!
With a flick of a tail
as they dashed out of sight
I chuckled to myself and whispered
“Merry Christmas, girls! I love you. Good night!”
~ Xun, 2019
I hope you had joy in this last holiday season and I send hope and light and love for health and happiness in the New Year!
❤ ~ X
Holy timelines!! Has it really been a month since I last posted?! I knew I haven’t been writing much, but I didn’t realize it had been close to 5 weeks. Sorry, I’m alive. If you follow my Instagram or my blog’s Facebook page, you know I’m still posting. I just haven’t been writing lately. Anything really. I’m barely even journaling much right now…
Since my last post, I’ve made one of our annual pilgrimages to our state’s RennFest. Opening weekend usually falls on or about my oldest daughter’s birthday and my family is a bunch of nerds so we go every year for her birthday.
Yes, that’s me in full garb. It’s taken me 5 or 6 years (and I have a couple of outfits) but yep, we show up in head to toe 16th century clothing. We usually go at least twice. Once for opening weekend (for K’s birthday) and once in October, the first weekend if we can swing it, for our anniversary because we got married October 2nd.
My youngest child has started her sophomore year in high school. And my son came home after 3+ years. And my husband is currently working on possibly changing jobs if everything lines up well. It’s been a busy month!
I also saw my neurologist and pain docs. Neurologically I’m stable and she pushed my annual check-the-brain-tumor MRI in July, but I’ll probably have a scan in November or December because I’m mostly stable (and I haven’t choked in quite a while, knock-on-wood, #dysphasiaisabitch ) but if I get overwhelmed my ability to remember anything or put a sentence together goes out the window.
I saw my pain docs and talked to them about the pain in my right hand (inspired by Wendy’s info) and they agree it’s probably De Quervain’s tenosynovitis. She chose to treat it first with a brace and Flector patches (diclofenac, an NSAID). I am really, really dominantly right handed so I sleep with the brace on. But when I slept with the patches on my right wrist, I woke up feeling like I was having a hard time breathing. Turns out there are associated cardiac risks with Flector (and I’m allergic to aspirin) so that was axed. I tried Lidocaine patches too, but they actually seemed to make it worse. Fortunately the brace seems to be helping and my pain doc has decided to wait on injections or referrals. It feels like a slow process to treat something they can actually fix, but one thing at a time, right?
I also talked to my pain clinic about the possibility of medicinal cannabis or even just CBD oil. Because of the meds I’m already on (and even though my state is finally getting on board with cannabis options) I would only be “allowed” topical CBD oil with prior notice. Anything else would fall under a “transference of care” and I would not be allowed to continue my current meds and be transferred to a doctor in this state that issues licenses for cannabis. So….yes, we’re making progress. No, it’s not easy. No, it’s not really a good option for me right now. I wish they’d allow me more time to work with stepping down off some meds and onto others, but I didn’t get the impression that was an option yet.
Tomorrow is one of the annual Navy events we try to go to, so I get to get all dolled up and go to a (semi)formal event tomorrow night. Next week is my 19th wedding anniversary. My youngest is up to her eyeballs in chorus and theatre (which means I’m sort of up to my eyeballs in stuff, but the school musical isn’t until Spring so I’m not quite up to tech week insanity. (If you know what that means, you get it.)
So, yes I’m still here. Juggling monkeys and handling stuff. Gentle hugs and hope you guys are good!
Merry Samhain! Happy Halloween! And a good boo! to you all!
Today is my last day of my Photos From My Life series. Did you guys like anything in particular? I always think it’s interesting to see photos from someone else’s life. Where are they? What do they tend to take pictures of?
Some people take pictures of places, or things, moments, or other people so they can hide behind the lens instead of being in front of it. Some take pictures of places and people they love to remember.
As I was looking through my social media today, I counted how many of the past years I have thrown on scrubs and dressed up on Halloween as my alter ego: Meredith Grey. Since I created my personal Facebook page in 2008, I have dressed in scrubs 6 out of the last 9 years, with 2 other years as Alice (one was Evil Alice, inspired by Warehouse 13), and one year I was Sarah Sanderson. (and if you don’t know who that is, get your booootay over to Amazon and order Hocus Pocus stat!!)
This year I am dressing up as an Arkham inspired Steampunk Harley Quinn. (I’ll post pix tomorrow! The girl child is doing my make up!)
So, onward to the final Black & White Photo for my series!
Merry Samhain! ❤ ~ Xun
Okay, so when I wrote about the furry critters a week and a half ago I honestly meant to post a second blog about the crabbies a few days later….but, well, life happened.
Hubs left the country, and I (on schedule) started coughing green shit up again and spent 4 days pretty sure I actually had an invisible ice pick in the back of my neck. The ghosts that stabbed me with an ice pick around C6 (and if you get that, I’m sorry….but yay for you! for knowing what the hell I’m talking about half the time!) seemed to have pulled it out, and despite the fact that I seem to cycle around 3-5 weeks between coughing green crap up (but there’s nothing wrong and I don’t need a bronchoscopy) and it cycling back back to me being able to breathe without my inhaler, I’m surviving 2016. Sort of.
Because we have the 3 cats, we seem to acquired hermit crabs too. Because that makes sense.
First we have Speedy. We’ve had him the longest. (I think it’s a him….do hermit crabs have genders??) Speedy and another crabby (who has since died) that my oldest won for my youngest at the county fair 2 1/2 years ago started this whole thing.
Next up is Stimpy. Kid asked for a name, I graduated in ’91…do the math =)
We also have Harry. Because it turns out that hermit crabs do better in colonies of at least 3, and the kid is a Harry Potter geek =)
Finally, we have George, who is huge! We all agree he must be a different sub-species of hermit crab or something, but he got BIG over about a year.
So, there you have it. Three cats, and four hermit crabs.
We’ve always had animals, and lots of different kinds. I had peach canaries a few years ago, we’ve had hamsters, parakeets, … a ferret named Mokie who was in love with my Border Collie Dera. Seriously, it was like a Pepe le Pew cartoon. Mokie has a new home with 4 other ferrets after we moved several years ago, and we lost Dera 2 years ago. Her ashes are on my mantle. My kids have grown up around all kinds of critters to love and raise. The circle of life and all that.
Now we have rescue cats and some hermit crabs.