Category Archives: blogging

Even More Updates!!

April was nuts. I’m still trying to remember all the things and the stuff and the sharing…

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I live off my desk calendar

Rehearsals, a concert, prom, tech week….

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P!nk was amay.ZING!! And worth every penny for the not-exactly inexpensive tickets! Seeing her was bucket list stuff!

Four weeks of rehearsals for the kid because her school was (is …we have 2 more shows this weekend, and I’m finishing the editing of this post on Saturday afternoon) performing Anything Goes.

 

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Rehearsals were 4-5 days a week, weekends were set builds, and one weekend was a dance intensive workshop to work on choreography. The kids have worked their butts off and it shows! They have put together an incredible show!

We got through the ….um, “stupid” business trip and my husband got back on April 4th. We jumped right into April insanity; meaning 5-6 days a week of rehearsals, me interrupting rehearsals on April 17th to drive up to DC to see my favorite show EVAR, prom on April 21, and then right into tech week. “Tech week” means full dress rehearsals and long days the last week of April. I volunteered food and serving the cast and crew, the band, the faculty, and the parents and volunteers two out of the three days.

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Social Xunnie ; being helpful & feeding teenagers Photo: Ramon Tuazon

Watching how many parents and teachers step up and volunteer to support the show is inspiring. They’re working HARD.

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Seriously, I live and die by my desk calendar. Tech week

In the middle of tech week, we HAD to get tickets to squeeze in seeing Infinity War because we’re a household of hopeless geeks and I flat out told my kid I have to see it or stay off the internet until we do! Fortunately, we we able to find tickets for an 8 pm showing on Thursday night. (& we squeezed in a matinee on Saturday)

No spoilers. Don’t @ me. I’ve seen it twice so far. I won’t ruin anything for anyone else. 😉
But we will be seeing it again. Apparently we’re masochists.

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spoiler free commentary

Finally Friday, April 27 was opening night!

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I am so proud of these kids. And I can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am for the teachers, staff, directors, and parent volunteers giving up all the time and work for this production. The kids have worked so hard and *my* kid is ecstatic about the chance to perform and all the support.  This is me gushing because this is a new chapter for my youngest and it’s awesome to see her doing the next thing and loving the experience and support she gets.

We’re closing out a long and busy couple of months. One three-week-long business trip, one snowstorm, 4+ weeks of rehearsals, three gun incidences in our schools, one trip to New York, one P!nk concert, six high school musical performances, and one blood draw (yesterday) for new Cobalt and Chromium levels for my ortho surgeon when I see him again in just over 2 weeks.

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Gentle hugs, a couple of deep breaths, and and 2000 words later it’s time to move forward. May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month! #gogreyinmay

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❤ ~ Xun

 

Quotations, quotations!

I don’t participate in many challenges. I’ve gotten a couple of shout-outs and met some incredible people through running my blog for the last *cough* years, but I haven’t really been structured enough to post regularly or get involved in group projects. I write like I live: a mom of 3, retired-Navy wife, creative mess (with a brain tumor). There’s maybe a little structure or predictability, but you have to look for it. And I do better on my Facebook Page.

But when I saw Wendy share her Quotation Challenge, I thought I’d jump in the pool too. Wendy’s a pretty awesome chick with an incredible story and I’m happy to share a little cyberspace with her!

Here’s how this works:

1. Thank the person that nominated you.
(Wendy, thank you for sharing such a cool challenge!)

2. Write one quote each day for three consecutive days (3 quotes total).
(Imma do all 3 at once, but please feel free to share 3 posts, or just jump in too!)

3. Explain why the quote is meaningful for you.

4. Nominate three bloggers each day to participate in the challenge.
(Kara, Sheldon, Bee, Tiara, Laura, ….just a few people that come to mind)

Wendy did all three of her quotes in one day and in the midst of everything I’m juggling right now, I think I’ll do that too!

Here are just a few of my favorite quotes. (I love words and I could do this all day)

Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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You don’t have to know me well to know a couple of things: music is air to me, and I’m a dancer. The body doesn’t cooperate very well anymore, but the soul still dances. I do a “Music Monday” post on my FB page because they’ve shown that music reduces pain and I love music. All music. Seriously, if you see my playlists in my phone, you wonder how many people share my music apps because I go from P!nk to Bleachers to In This Moment to Queen, Bowie, Hellyeah, Skylar Grey, Apocalypica, Eminem, Fleetwood Mac, to Andra Day. I’m not even sure that covers the breadth of all the music I listen to. But my text notification is DMX and my ringtone is Led Zeppelin right now so…yeah. Music = air.

 

 

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup.

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aka: mind ya business.
…and I’m a dork that owns 2 full sets of “garb” and goes to Renn Fest every year. The Maryland Renaissance Festival is pretty awesome and always runs from the end of August to the third week of October and we try to go at least twice every year. Our village focuses on Henry VIII and is set around 1529. Our family loves all things Renn Fest and we’re happy to be hopeless geeks!

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Lexie: Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
Mark: It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.
Alex: And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.
Derek: By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.
Cristina: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Alex: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Richard: Acceptance.
Grey’s Anatomy: S6 ; E2 “Goodbye”

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Meredith Grey is my spirit animal. She and I have so much in common. She’s the stronger, smarter, badass surgeon version of me. We’re both only children, with a father that bailed to start another family. My mother is still alive and doesn’t have Alzheimer’s, but it does run in my family and when I did my genetic profile, it showed an increased risk for me. We both have three kids. And we’re both dark and twisty.

I can’t even tell you how many times I have written this entire quote out through my journals. I watch Grey’s on Netflix like comfort food for my soul. It’s my favorite place to be. And when I’m working through grief, I always seem to come back to this one.

I have a couple of people that come to mind I’d love to nominate, but I don’t want to put anybody on the spot. But if you’d like to share, please tag me. I’d love to see what makes everyone else tick. Or if you just have a quote, a mantra, a Psalm….anything that means something to you and gets you through the tough stuff (or the awesome days!) and want to just share in the comments, please do!

 

(& in other news, I have a draft for the rest of the updates I’m writing. March and April were insane!! But I promise I’m gonna close out the (overdue) updates this week.)

❤ ~ Xun

Overdue Updates; Part II

So, in the six weeks I haven’t sat down to share with the group, there’s been a lot of crazy stuff (see previous post) and a lot of really awesome stuff. And… well, really just A LOT.

I went over the big, hard stuff already (and as I’m writing this, everything hurts and I’m really sore for some bizarre reason today), but I have some insanely cool stuff to share too!

(consulting calendar & notes)…
so…in addition to the stuff that put us on the national news in the last 2 months, we’ve had a bunch of good stuff and busy stuff and…well, I’ll just try to get on with it shall I?

My youngest got the chance to go on a school trip to New York City in March! They got on the bus at beforeGodgotup o’clock on March 23…

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The theatre group spent the weekend in NYC and got to see Waitress, Hello, Dolly! and Kinky Boots! They also had a workshop on stage combat techniques, visited Central park, Times Square, and Little Italy. It was a crazy whirlwind weekend and I am so grateful that the school got to pull it off and we could send our kid to do it!

My husband was sent out of the country on a work trip in March so I was juggling school shooting news, kid trip, and a snowstorm by myself for a bit. Oh! And updates with pain doc and neuro. I’m stable (mostly) and getting blood drawn this week to check cobalt and chromium levels before I see ortho surgeon again on May 22. In the midst of the insanity of the last 2 months, at least medically I’m stable and managing.

The most interesting things lately are just the dysphasia occasionally deciding it wants to flare (but I’m learning to manage it…did you know if you tuck your chin it helps when swallowing?) and my hip pops occasionally but I haven’t fallen and I am stable when walking. My rule is “I can go far or I can go fast … pick one”.
But medically, at least, I’m not very interesting lately. For now.

The best and coolest thing this year is I got to go see P!nk!!! This was bucket-list stuff and she is one of my favorite people on the planet. I even have lyrics from one of her songs as a tattoo…

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I got to take my daughters and see her April 17th in DC…

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It was amazing and she’s incredible! She opened the show hanging from the chandelier!!

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I tried to remember the songs she did…

Get the Party Started
Beautiful Trauma
Just Like a Pill
Who Knew
Revenge (which included a giant inflatable Eminem)
Just a Girl (No Doubt cover)/Funhouse
Teen Spirit (Nirvana cover)
Secrets
Try
Just Give me a Reason
I’m Not Dead
Just like Fire

…which was INCREDIBLE!! We were close enough to feel the heat from the fire effects…

What About Us
Perfect (see previously mentioned tat)
Raise Your Glass
So What

she literally flew across the entire arena!!

and she finished with Glitter in the Air.

It was an amazing show and the best concert I’ve ever been to and how much do I love the fact that my youngest’s first concert was P!nk??!!

April has been insanely busy, 4 solid weeks of rehearsals, tech week (aka: parents bringing in food and doing set builds because the kids are working until 8 pm), the kiddo’s first major high school musical production, prom, P!nk’s concert, and the opening of Infinity War because we’re a household of Marvel geeks.

Looks like I need to actually write up a third update!

 

Check Yourself

Like the rest of the US I have been watching the news over the past 5 or 6 days and trying to figure out what to say….or do…or think. 17 more dead. This is not okay.

I sat here this morning catching up on news and social media and I came across a friend of mine’s Facebook post about sending her daughter off to school this morning. It was just a quick blurb inviting thought by sharing that her daughter said “remember what I’m wearing in case you have to identify me.”

I had tears in my eyes and I had to catch my breath. Her daughter goes to the same high school mine does.

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I live about 9 miles or about 15 minutes from my daughter’s high school because we live in a pretty rural county It’s middle America. (Seriously google it….”Middle Earth” pops on my zip code)
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There was an incident several years ago at this school. Yes, even all the way out here, we had a “threat”. I didn’t have any kids in the school at the time, but I watched the news coverage as reports of a handgun in a student’s backpack prompted a lockdown of the high school, the tech center, and the middle school because they are all essentially one campus. The parents could not get to their kids and gathered at the county fair grounds across the street from the school.

Tears in my eyes as I tried to imagine NOT being able to reach my child and protect them. Anybody that knows me knows I am a Mama Bear. DO NOT mess with my kid. Do not threaten my kid. Do not get between me and my kid. I will hurt you.
My oldest was in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I got the phone call and pulled up to the accident scene in less than 10 minutes. (To be fair it was about 2? 3? miles away)

But I have never forgotten what that felt like to watch these parents stuck on the other side of a 4 lane highway (I use highway loosely….main road?) unable to go get their kid in the middle of a lock down.

So when I read S’s post this morning, I stopped. Time stopped. I couldn’t breathe. Because that is a horrible truth. That is an unthinkable truth.

This has to stop. #NeverAgain

I’m watching my country, my family, my friends, my acquaintances, people I care very much about, and people I’ve never met argue over opinions, fault, policies. This is insane.

Do you get that?! This is crazy. We are supposed to be a First World Nation. We are supposed to be The American Dream. If you work hard enough you can have anything, remember that?? Milk and honey and opportunities.
But we have more gun violence, more deaths, more fear and threats than many Third World Nations. People are afraid to visit the US because they’re afraid they will be shot like in the Wild West.

But Xun….2nd Amendments? Individual rights? Who are YOU to tell me what I can and can’t do?!

To that I say, Check Your Privilege.

I thought about this a lot over the last few days. I am white, middle America, middle income, living in a house we built 3 1/2 years ago, standing in a shower in a bathroom I designed, crying this morning because time stopped for me as I thought about what to say or how to write about this. Suddenly  it was 2 years ago when I lost my sister, or 5 1/2 years ago when I lost my Dad and I was standing in the shower trying to figure out how to live in a world without them.

Because 17 funerals are being planned right now. Do you get that? 17 people that did nothing more than get up and go to work or to school last Wednesday, that didn’t know the shooter from Adam, are now gone.

BUT…

I am watching the next generation, the survivors, stand up and say NO MORE….

Emma González is amazing and brave and strong. And I am watching the news of her and the other students, the other “kids”, organizing a fight for #NeverAgain. Speeches, walk outs, marches. These kids and their community are fighting for everyone else. No more mass shootings. More deaths. No more sense acts of too many people dying in one day for what?
NO MORE.

 

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Students 

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I debated what to title this post. Because I’m watching the news and the debates on social media. What do you say? How do you talk about it? It’s been almost 19 years since Columbine and can you say anything has changed?

17 funerals, memorials, celebrations of life being planned. 17 people gone. 17 more gone. In an affluent suburb in Anytown, USA.

So check yourself. Check your privilege. But for the Grace of God go I.

 

 

7 Photos, 7 Days; Day 7!

Merry Samhain! Happy Halloween! And a good boo! to you all!

Today is my last day of my Photos From My Life series. Did you guys like anything in particular? I always think it’s interesting to see photos from someone else’s life. Where are they? What do they tend to take pictures of?

Some people take pictures of places, or things, moments, or other people so they can hide behind the lens instead of being in front of it. Some take pictures of places and people they love to remember.

As I was looking through my social media today, I counted how many of the past years I have thrown on scrubs and dressed up on Halloween as my alter ego: Meredith Grey. Since I created my personal Facebook page in 2008, I have dressed in scrubs 6 out of the last 9 years, with 2 other years as Alice (one was Evil Alice, inspired by Warehouse 13), and one year I was Sarah Sanderson. (and if you don’t know who that is, get your booootay over to Amazon and order Hocus Pocus stat!!)

This year I am dressing up as an Arkham inspired Steampunk Harley Quinn. (I’ll post pix tomorrow! The girl child is doing my make up!)

So, onward to the final Black & White Photo for my series!

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Merry Samhain! ❤ ~ Xun

7 Days, 7 Photos; Day 6

Hello Spoonies! I won’t say happy Monday because….well, does anybody like Mondays? On my Facebook page for the blog I try to remember to do “Music Mondays” because 1) any reason to listen to music is a good one! and 2) music helps reduce pain (and it makes a fabulous painscape!)

Today’s Photo:

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Tomorrow is day 7! Suggestions? Inspirations? Anything you hope to see?

❤ ~ Xun

 

7 Days, 7 Photos; Day 5

It’s a cool, rainy, windy Fall Sunday for us in the Northeast. And a bit somber for me today too, as I learn of my friend losing her Dad to cancer this morning. My own Dad passed, from cancer, 5 1/2 years ago so I understand my own experience with mourning the loss of a parent. I’m trying to word that right because I know my feelings and experience aren’t the same as hers, and I’m trying to remember that and respect it.

But it definitely feels like there are far too many of us in the Club now…

Cristina: “There’s a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can’t be in it until you’re in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss… My dad died when I was nine. George, I’m really sorry you had to join the club.”
George: “I… I don’t know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn’t.”
Cristina: “Yeah, that never really changes.”
~ Grey’s Anatomy, S3; E12 Six Days, Part 2

And onward to today’s photo….

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Happy Sunday Spoonies! See you tomorrow for day 6! ~ ❤ Xun

7 Days, 7 Photos; Day 4

Happy Saturday! I love Saturday. It’s my favorite day of the week! I can be lazy and snuggle back under the covers just a little longer, or we can choose to go do something fun on a family adventure. Renn Fest season just ended for us and we always try to go at least twice during the 8 or 9 weekend run.

Movie nights, museum visits, trips up to The Kennedy Center. Saturdays usually have something good!

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See you tomorrow for day 5! ❤ ~ xun

7 Days, 7 Photos; Day 3

Happy Friday!

It’s day 3 of the 7 Days, 7 Black & White Photos Challenge and today I’m choosing a picture I took last week for one reason, but I’m posting it today for another reason. The rules say No explanations, so I’ll just leave you with the image and hope you are inspired!

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Gentle hugs and see you tomorrow! ❤ ~ Xun

7 days, 7 Photos; Day 2

Hello Spoonies! It’s day 2 of the 7 Days of Back & White Photos challenge. The only rules are: No people. No explanation. I’ll be posting one black and white photo from my life everyday for 5 more days after today.  If you would like to participate, please leave a comment and let me know so I can go check out your pictures too!

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Happy Thursday! See you tomorrow! ❤ ~ Xun