I don’t know where you go when you’re done here, but I gotta believe it’s somewhere better than this.

One month ago we lost a beautiful soul. She was smart, and brave, and amazing. And in the end she left a world that was too hard and too heavy, and it had too many sharp edges on it. I sent up balloons to Heaven and I told her that I hoped she was happy and at peace and finally free of the demons that eventually won this round.

My grief streaks down my face when I close my eyes and whisper to her “What I wouldn’t give to have been able to take more of your pain for you….” I knew her as well as anyone knows anyone else…..and maybe a little bit better than that because my soul and her soul were not so terribly different.

I miss my friend. I miss my sister. I miss the one I got in trouble with because we kept cracking ourselves up at what was supposed to have been a very serious “bridal shower” (and everything is always WAY funnier when you’re not supposed to be laughing).

We fought. We forgave. We connected. We loved. I have a tattoo on my left arm inspired by her. “Ana’laigh”, Gaelic for “breathe”. I got it for my own reasons, but inspired by her. Now I think I’ll get something just for her…..I don’t know just what yet.

Her kids and my kids played together when they were younger and before life sent us in different directions at different times. I think we always say “I wish I would have had more time….” when someone we love passes away.

I miss you Bren….I hope you know love, and peace, and happiness, and calm now. No more pain. No more fear. Just fly and be free….