Life: Inspired

So many dead people.

My husband just got back from going to bury his Grandfather. While he was gone, I learned that my biological father died last month as well. I paused. So many people. So much energy moving on to the next thing. I don’t know where we are before we show up here, and I don’t know where we go after this. I don’t even know if those are the same. But I do believe, as much as I know anything to be true, that the energy that creates life inside of the cells that hold us doesn’t simply disappear.

And I believe that we stand at grave sites, or hold on to things from loved ones after they pass, but those don’t really matter. They aren’t there. My *MIL is reluctant to clean out the house and get it sold. On one hand, I get it. We have to grieve and everyone grieves differently. But on the other hand, (and the overly practical version of me that IS me most of the time) I’m thinking that house doesn’t matter. It’s a pile of stuff with a lid on it and none of it is important. The important thing was Grandpa, and he’s gone.

But he’s in good company. My Dad, hub’s Dad, my first step-dad, my biological father, hub’s Grandma, and a daughter I had that never got the chance to be. But when I stop and think about it, I always add in my Dera dog, my mom’s dog, my childhood dog, my daughter’s cat. All lives that mattered. I could keep going….my maternal grandfather I never met, an Uncle on my mom’s side, my father’s parents: his dad died before I was born and I barely remember his mother.Like I said, so many dead people.

I don’t know where they go after this, but I know they’re not here. And that doesn’t stop me when I’m having a really bad day from looking up at the ceiling and asking my dad what to do.

RkFiMYU

They’re not here. And all that stuff doesn’t matter. Don’t stand at the grave site and cry. Your loved one is not there.

Inspired by this, I wrote my own version a couple of years ago….

I Am Not Gone

I am the rain
I am the wind
I am the sunlight
that touches your skin
I am not gone
I did not die
Dry your tears
Please don’t cry
I live on through you
I am not gone
Listen to the wind
You’ll hear my song
through sun, snow, wind, or rain
I am always with you
as the seasons change

I am not gone
I did not die
I love you too much
to see you cry
I am with you still
I have not gone
In your heart, you see
I still live on
(c) XunnieMarie

Love the people in your life while they’re here. Don’t leave any regrets. And when they go, let them go. They are not here anymore. I like to think they get to be somewhere really awesome.

* Mother In Law (or monster in law, your choice šŸ˜‰ )

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