Art Imitating Life

Is anyone out there following Grey’s Anatomy this season?

I love Grey’s. I’ve watched it from the very first episode to the newest one more times than I can count. Meredith and Cristina are my people. I find comfort among the characters that have become like friends to me when the pain gets to be too much in my own life. I cry over their losses and I feel the joy for the weddings, births, and accomplishments.

I fell in love with Mer,and George, and Dr McDreamy. I laid under the Christmas tree in season 2 and watched the lights. I smiled at the house of candles and bawled when George died. I danced it out when Cristina left. I watched Derek make the impossible possible and remove an incredible spinal tumor.

Episode after episode, season after season…these are my favorite people and a little bit of the narrative of my life.

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Grey’s is my comfort food for my soul. It doesn’t matter if I recovering from a surgery, or a procedure, a flare, or just a really crappy day. I settle into the couch, pop on Grey’s, and disappear into Seattle for awhile. For me, it’s almost as good as any painkiller, and it sure as hell helps the pain meds I do take.

But: has anyone been following this season’s story line about Dr. Nicole Herman (Geena Davis) and her brain tumor. This one has hit home for me. I did those scans, I talked to neurologists, neurosurgeons, radiation oncologists, and a whole lot of nurses, interns, tech, and support staff as I have made my way through my journey with a brain tumor so far.

I went through the radiation they showed on the show. I still have my mask and I totally understand why she giggled as she burnt hers. That kind of radiation is hard, and exhausting, and you feel like crap. Every time they showed her being strapped down, I nodded at the t.v. Yep, been there, did THAT!

And now I’m at the part where we (the doctors, me, and my family) all weigh the options. The radiation does not appear to have worked. There’s been no change in my tumor, so is my next step brain surgery? Is that even an option for me?

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Scans showed it was time for her, so they pulled the trigger, and prepped her for surgery. I got it. Twisting my fingers, I watched it unfold. They put her under and opened her up and I felt it like a punch to my chest. The fear….the anxiety….the hope.

I watched art imitate life, and this time it was a story I can understand on a deeply personal level. Do we go for surgery if my next set of scans show no change in my tumor? Or worse, if it has grown?

I don’t know. But I do know, just like in Grey Sloan Memorial, I have world class surgeons up at Georgetown if surgery becomes the next thing.

I don’t know what’s next, but I do know it’s comforting to see my favorite show with my favorite people on it imitating something real, something in my life.

Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

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