I Believe

I believe in love. And in hope. I believe in fairy tales. And I believe that music has the power to bring you to the best places and heal you.


2012 was supposed to be a pretty quiet year. I wasn’t moving. Or buying a house, selling a house,or renting a house. No getting married, or divorced, or having a baby. For the first time in a long time we didn’t have any major changes in the works when the new year hit. 2012 was going to be the year that I got my second kid graduated and just settled in, concentrated on raising the youngest, and maybe (hopefully) writing a book.

We’re in the 8th month of the year and it’s been a pretty crazy year. *I* didn’t have any major life changes planned for the year. *BUT* I am watching so many people in my life have their year of major changes. Lots of people getting married, a few getting divorced, a couple of people having a baby, and two of my friends have just moved across the country this summer.

My son graduated high school, joined the Navy, and broke his collar bone; all inside of 6 weeks. My youngest had tonsillitis so bad I wondered if she was going to have to have her tonsils out (we’re just now at the part where I know she won’t have surgery and she’s gonna get better). And that was a big deal because she’s never even been sick.  And my oldest moved back home and has been working on getting her feet back under her after learning a very difficult and painful lesson as she grows up.

And we lost my (Step)Dad. My kids lost their Grampa. Yet another part of my life was affected by Cancer. As I make my way through the grieving process I’m finding that Cancer scares me a lot more than it used to now. P and I have both lost parents to it now. And we lost his Grandma 11 years ago to it.

So, yeah, it hasn’t been the quiet year I thought it was going to be when I toasted the ball dropping with root beer floats at midnight. It’s been a tough year on me. I’ve lost 15 pounds in the last 3 months or so from everything happening all at once. And I’m hoping that the craziest part is over now as we move into the end of Summer and into the Fall season.

I still have some things on the table. My son leaves for boot camp in November and we’re still working on convincing my husband’s command not to send him to Afghanistan this Fall. By the end of the year my older two might both be out making their way in a new career and creating their own lives.

But in spite of the year we’ve all had I still believe. I believe that love makes all the difference. I believe in hope and trust and sometimes just a little bit of pixie dust. I still believe in fairy tales.

2 responses

  1. I believe in you. And me. We've lived through more than many, St. Ends, and we're still here.

    Life is so infrequently what we plan it to be, but I think it is what it's supposed to be, even in those moments that we are sure will end us.

    We've still got four months to make this the year we find a way to hang out, for real. So let's do that. Because it's been a damn long 25 years since I've been able to give you a real hug!

    <3 Bec


  2. Right BeFri? P keeps telling me to write my story and I keep telling him no one would believe me.
    And YES! We just need to get a phone call going and pick a date and a place and make it happen. ❤


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