I had no idea….

“I had no idea that the night would take so damn long…”

So, my darling readers, how do you figure out how to live with somebody in your head that doesn’t go away? Everything I have seen in our society tells me that they should eventually go away, but they haven’t yet. Years have passed and they are still there, still inside of me…..my heart, my mind. How do you deal with that?

I started my book. I’m so proud of the fact that I have a working title, characters that are named, and a scenario. It’s coming together and some times I feel like I’m pushing myself pretty hard because my goal is to have this damn book written by the end of the year. I have a story to tell and it’s time to figure out how to write it. But the problem lately is that I seem to be spending a lot of time inside of song lyrics. I almost wish I could write music instead of ….well, whatever it is that I’m writing sometimes. I’m great with poetry, which I guess is pretty close to music but I’m missing the ability to create rhythm.

But so much of what’s in my head, so much of what’s in my soul, exists in lyrics…..
“But in another life, I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world…”

“And my mates are all there trying to calm me down, Cause I’m shouting your name all over town….”

” Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice…”

And we won’t even get into all the other noise that’s in there….a lot of Skrillex, E Nomine. It depends on the day, but there’s always a song playing in my head. My own personal soundtrack? How awesome would it be if I could figure out how to broadcast all the music inside of me? But if you know me at all, it would almost be like walking around naked. Everything that I am would be exposed. Maybe that’s too much.

I’ve been writing a blog in my head for a week but it keeps changing, which is why this one is probably bouncing all over the place. But the idea I wanted to regurgitate into my keyboard was pondering the idea of living with somebody in my head that is still there after a lot of time. Whether I want them or not, there they are. Sometimes in the back, in the dark. Quiet. Sometimes they make a lot of noise and I feel like if I close my eyes I can almost touch them.

Do you ever really lose somebody, even if they walk out of your life?

2 responses

  1. I love that you're writing. You inspire me, daily ❤


  2. I write because you push me and inspire me, BB. You're amazing and I find strength in you when I need it the most =)


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