Knowing you can’t be mad
It sucks to be really pissed off about something, but it sucks even more if you know that you’re not supposed to be emotionally stressed like that because of what it will do to you physically, that you’re not supposed to allow yourself to get that upset over something or it will cost you. My d.h. and I were discussing the the cost of me being angry over something the other day and I explained to him in the best analogy that I’ve come up with ever (because of that wonderful spoon article!) that it not only costs me extra spoons today when I’m angry (hypothetically) but it also takes from the spoon pile tomorrow.
I’ve mentioned before that he and I have been in the middle of a heated argument (we’ve been together 12 years…we argue) and my d.h. has looked down and seen bright blue fingernails and refused to argue with me anymore. When I’m angry or very stressed (read: emotionally upset) about something, it affects me physically immediately and even more so the next day.
I’m an emotionally driven person. I have an artist’s soul, and I have teenagers, so it’s inevitable that I’m going to be upset by something at some point. I know I can’t be stressed. I know these things. I know it will cost me, and I spend a lot of time walking away and just talking myself out of my tree. I’m famous for calling up the only person in the world that calls me Poppit and responding to his answering of the phone with “do you have a minute? I’m in a tree and need to be talked out of it”. And the poor guy is usually at work or at Walmart or something when I do.
Stress does bad things to everybody. Tension headaches, insomnia, grumpiness….all normal symptoms of stress from regular life. I’m not saying that it doesn’t suck to be perfectly healthy and stressed, it does. Life kicks your ass sometimes no matter who you are. I’m just saying that for fibromites, stress is like an illness, and we don’t have the same ability to fight it off the way someone with a good immune system does. Fibro sufferers need to avoid stress even more than most people.
Unfortunately, just having the syndrome causes a lot of stress. We live with guilt because of the days we can’t do more. We live with the callous doctors and health care professionals that love to tell us that we’re depressed hypochondriacs. We live in a world that is just now realizing that we’re not nuts, we hurt, and something really is wrong. And we live in the lives we spent many years building before we got sick. There’s no pause button, so kids and work and family and holidays are all normal life stress.
So, we find ways to cope. Everyone does, and fibromites need to especially. My favorite stress relievers are Burts Bees Baby Bee Buttermilk lotion (i lurve the smell of it!), bubble baths, music (sometimes really great angry music like Godsmack, sometimes something soothing), and escaping into my gaming world of Azeroth. Find your coping mechanisms, my wonderful readers, and be mindful of the physical effects of stress. I think you’ll be surprised if you pay attention.