Emotional pain = Physical pain
One of the worst things about Fibro is that stress, and hurt, and anger, and fear, and frustration manifest themselves as actual pain. That emotional pain literally ends up hurting.
Yesterday was a rough day for me emotionally. I was hurting and frustrated because I couldn’t get my doctors to listen to me as I continued my fight for health care and pain relief. Today that emotional pain has translated into physical pain and it was a high pain day for me. I keep telling myself that I have to stop letting stuff get to me because I always end up paying for it, but I haven’t listened yet it seems.
I am a very emotional person by nature anyway, and I get really angry if i think something is unfair. I am the kind of person that gets spun up about my husband being treated poorly at work, or someone acting like a jackass, and I keep trying to talk myself out of my tree and telling myself that I just can’t get that pissed off or wound up about things anymore.
It’s something I am working on, and I am trying to understand that sometimes people are assholes and all too often it’s every man for himself in the world we live in. I hate that we have to use our elbows so much and demand time and space. I’m an only child so I don’t understand having to fight so hard for what you want or need sometimes. But I am learning that taking that kind of asshattery personally hurts me, literally.
So today was a pain meds/get in a top tub for awhile/ lay down in the middle of the afternoon and rest kind of day for me. I still manage to get what I need to taken care off, but these are rough days for me.
One of my very favorite songs these days is “Just Breathe” by Pearl Jam. It calms me and reminds me of what’s important…and I just breathe and get through the pain.