My new year’s resolution was to be less snarky. I initially set out to be more patient and compassionate in the new year because a) I figured all that enlightenment in college had just pissed me off and b) these qualities do not come easy to me. Six weeks or so into said new year’s resolution, it is pretty much gone the way of most people’s new diets and workout plans. Which, by the way, neither one of those did I embark on, I know my limitations.
Is it better to be educated, enlightened, and aware of the struggles in the world today ( read: aware of other people’s raging stupidity)? Is ignorance really bliss? I haven’t figured out if my frustration with the common slime in the gene pool really results from a college education. Or is it really just part of getting older and grumpier? Lots of questions go through my head, and not as many answers.
I know why I am not easily a compassionate and patient person. I wasn’t raised with any example of that. I have spent my whole life pushing myself, and the only example I had was being told I needed to do more and be better. Excuses, compassion, and patience were not found in my childhood.
I have lived, I have really…really lived, but with that comes the fact that sometimes I have had to be tough, and it’s almost easer to toughen up than it is to soften back up after that, isn’t it?
So, I keep trying to find a softer, less snarky Cris. Not an easy task, I assure you. Some days she’s a little easier to spot than others, like the elusive white rabbit for Alice. And yes, I’m usually running around hollering “I’m late!!”